Nehemiah notes

So, random God-is-awesomeness...
Last weekend (04-20-08), God spoke to me to go through Nehemiah. So, I did. Or at least I started. I'm never as disciplined as I should be, but that's why God is sharpening me. =D
Point is, last night, Aaron leaned in the car before I left IHOP and said, just start putting together a series...like, I need to have something prepared to treach.

Hm...God has been being pretty obvious lately. I think sometimes he's like, "Chelsea, you are being entirely too dense--do I need to spell it out for you?"
"Yes, Lord. I apparently need to be humbled by the obviousness of You speaking to me, the wonder of You loving me...even still."

New check card

My new check card, because for the second time in a half-year period, I have misplaced mine...

Showers

Tiles, originally uploaded by C.P. MAC Photography.

Every house we went in (which was alot), Malachi went into the shower in every bathroom and told me whether it was cool or not.

He rather liked this one. I had a hard time getting him out. =D

This weekend

Brick, originally uploaded by C.P. MAC Photography.

Malachi and Tabi and I went to the parade of homes, and I LOVE the brickwork in one wing of this house. I lost sight of Malachi for a moment, and he was laying with his blankie on the floor in the sun in the laundry room.

A-B-C-D...

The ABC's of ME: Wasting my time

A- ATTACHED OR SINGLE: Single, technically, but my heart is attached

B- BEST FRIEND: female-Kacy, male-Aaron

C- CAKE OR PIE: chocolate cake with fudge frosting from Wal-mart; that's what we got for Malachi's family birthday party and it was DELICIOUS!

D- DAY OF CHOICE: Friday

E- ESSENTIAL ITEM: Bible

F- FAVORITE COLOR: Green!

G- GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENT: of course, it's only by God's grace, so it's not really MY accomplishment, but my greatest accomplishment is definitely surrendering my life to Jesus (although it seems I have to redo it quite)

H- HOMETOWN: Metairie, Louisiana

I- INDULGENCES: Peppermint Mocha Frappaccino (or Latte, depending on my mood), Vault, queso

J- JANUARY OR JULY: July--yay for the beach!

K- KIDS: Malachi Blayde, 3

L- LIFE IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT: Malachi, T, my Bible and prayer (if I'm missing one of those last two I really feel incomplete)

M- MARRIAGE DATE: Hopefully

N- NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 4

O- ORANGES OR APPLES: Golden delicious apples, sliced

P- PHOBIAS OR FEARS: Not being in God's will

Q- QUOTES: "The Lord will work out His plans for my life--for Your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8

R- REASON TO SMILE: Malachi (when he's being so, so sweet), because God loves me and never let me go, even when I am stupid

S- SEASON: Autumn

T- TAG FIVE FRIENDS: Brooke, Kacy, Aaron, Macey, Elyse, Kailie, Fannie (yes, I know--that 7, but those are the grand total of my best friends)

U- UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME: I'm pretty much an open book--ask me and I'll tell you. And I'll also relay either how Jesus forgave me or look how far God has brought me

V- VERY FAVORITE STORE: Aeropostale, Victoria's Secret, Rue 21 (clearance sections ONLY) Wal-mart

W- WORST HABIT: my dirty car, not practicing bass or voice (both of which I'm sure I would rock at if I would practice), shop therapy

X- X-RAY OR ULTRASOUND: x-ray, no grody gels

Y- YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: anything and everything of Mexican origin

Z- ZODIAC: Gemini, I think. Why does it matter?

From Louie Giglio's blog

<:: 268 BLOG ::>: "Somewhere in between the sovereignty of God (He does whatever pleases Him) and our free choices is an interesting invitation: Ask. It's not that God is at our beck and call, delivering on time whatever our latest whim. Yet, He deliberately invites us to ask of Him the things that are in our heart. Within God's unwavering control, there is room for our requests. And, according to His Word, our asking can effect the outcome of things great and small. What's more He adds: You do not have, because you do not ask God. (James 4:2b)."

How I Feel--What I Need

This is how I feel:

"Oh baby, if I was your lady

I will make you happy

I'm never gonna leave, never gonna leave

Oh baby, I would be your lady

I am going crazy...for you"

~Colbie Caillat, Oxygen~

This is what I need:

"Give me one pure and holy passion

Give me one magnificent obsession

Give me one glorious ambition for my life

To know and follow hard after You"

~Passion, Pure and Holy Passion~

I thought about this the other day--I am at a point right now where I hunger to hunger for God and His Word, I thirst to thirst for His living water. It's like, I am not compelled as I wish I was to spend more time with Him, I do not have this deep heart desire to talk with Him, though I wish to possess a Spirit driving towards Him. I woke up with the lyrics "How can I keep from singing Your praise..." going through my head, and, truly, how can I?

How in the world, when He has spoken so directly to me, can I doubt that He has spoken at all? How can I look at the circumstance that surround me, failing to focus my eyes on His love for me, the grace He has given to overcome, and the power of His name?

Mostly, I just want to be magnificently obsessed...

To look into someone's eyes way more often than Sunday evenings (as I did with Mrs. Ellen at the mall this past Sunday) and share that GOD LOVES THEM and mean it, because I feel it everday in the root of my being...that just as everything God does for us stems from His love for us, shouldn't everything that I do stem from my love for God? Of course, my love for Him will never compare--His love is unfailing and mine fails oh so often, and yet..yet, He is the author and PERFECTOR...does He not perfect our love into being more and more like His own? Of course He does. Reference 1 Corinthians 13--the GREATEST of these is love.

And while I long to be obsessed (this all is related to Pastor Joey message this past Sunday morning at Lakewood) with my God and Father, everytime I am with Him, in prayer, at church, etc...I am expressing my longing to be with my earthly love. It overwhelms me how much my heart hurts, how much I wish to be with him. And it hurts so bad that I many times don't even feel like expanding my heart and mind to focus on prayer, reading the Word, etc.

Yes, I know that at times you must press through when you feel least like it, I know that to praise is to win the victory, but the heart motives must be correct. I WANT to praise out of utter awe for my Father, I want to pray just to spend time with Him...but the thing is, He is my Father, and I am in pain (did the psalmist not cry out over and over for the Lord to deliver him from distress?) and I SO want to just be delivered--for God to bring to completion His promise to me, to be happy and to be filled with the joy of His salvation "here in the land of the living" (ref. psalm 27:13 "Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.") I ask God to make me to long for Him, to focus on Him, and yet, as James says, "You have not because you ask not" and I fear if I fail to continue in persistant prayer for my love...well, I just long dearly to be with him. To care for him, to love him entirely--for Christ's love to show through me to him...that's what our earthly relationships are for, our romance--to reveal to each of us a deeper revelation of Jesus Christ and God our Father and Agape love.

Lord, lift me up, lift him up, Your will be done! Give me a HUNGER!

in Jesus' mighty name, AMEN!

Storming Outside

"I believe you will come like the rain"
-Misty Edwards, My Soul Longs for You

It's raining outside--well, actually storming. Not so much thunder, but lots of rain and wind. I love to listen to this song when the sky is looking like rain.
God comes like the rain. We think of the rain as being the storms of life, but the truth is, it is IN the storms that He comes--that's when He shows up. At the last minute, in all His glory, He comes like the rain, in the rain, to spite the rain.

And He makes all things new.

Tired

So, yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

Still have alot on my heart and mind...praying for God to just continue to speak to me.

I'll have to write in more detail tomorrow, but basically, I'm at a point that I am hungering to hunger for God. Like, I want to want Him--I desire to desire Him...I'm just not where I want to be yet. I'm not satisfied where I am, casual relationship with a Word from Him here and there. I don't want to feel SO undeserving of His blessings...kinda like when you're only so-so friends with someone and you ask them to do a favor and they're doing it for you but you feel kinda crappy because you don't want to just be their friend for what they can do for you...

Yeah, I'll write more later.

Has God calmed your fear?

Wednesday April 02
This week's promise: God cares for the persecuted
Has God calmed you fear?

In my distress I prayed to the Lord and the Lord answered me and rescued me. The Lord is for me, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Yes, the Lord is for me; he will help me. Psalm 118:5-7 NLT

Prayer offers us a way out of our fear. It is all a matter of calling upon Jesus' name. Only in His name is there help. The more we call upon His name, the more we will experience this truth.
Mother Basilea Schlink (1904-2001)

The Lord is for me
Today's verses tell us that the psalmist was in a frightening situation. But in his distress, he cried out to God in prayer. Because of God's presence and strength in response to his plea, the psalmist could look in triumph at those who hated and attacked him. For every difficulty and trial, God has prepared a way. His eyes are on those who trust in him in their distress, and his ears are attentive to their cries. You can know and rest assured that just as God was for David, he is for you! And because the all-powerful Lord who is on your side is your shield and defender, you do not have to be afraid. The Lord is greater than any problem, greater than any fear, greater than any person opposing you. Thank him for his help in past situations when there seemed to be no way out, and trust him and thank him for being "for you" today.
LORD, thank you for answering me and helping me in my distress. Thank you for being for me! That truth is amazing to me and assures me of your concern for me. Help me to resolve not to be afraid because the Lord of the universe is on my side!
Adapted from The One Year® Book of Praying through the Bible by Cheri Fuller, Tyndale House Publishers (2003), entry for May 21.

That was in my email today. How much it resounds with me and my "situation." The Lord is for me--who EVER can be against me? I mean, sure the devil can try, but when God determines to do something, when He makes a promise, no power of hell can put a stop to it. Psalm 138:8 says, "The Lord will work out His plans for my life--for your faithful love endures forever. Don't abandon me, for you made me." I love that verse...it covers SO many things!

For one, "the plans of the Lord stand firm forever" (Psalm 33:11). He knows the beginning from the end--in fact, He IS the beginning and the end (the Alpha and the Omega). He has numbered our days and has recorded every one, before we were ever born. Why? Because He loves us. His love is the basis for ALL things that the Lord does. His creation, His beauty, His blessings, His plan for salvation through Jesus Christ, and even His justice--all are based on His great, enduring love for us. Just as Paul writes, "And now these three remain--faith, hope, and love--but the greatest of these is love." He also refers to love as "the most excellent way."

Why do you think the Word of God places so much emphasis on love as THE most important concept in our Christian lives, above spiritual gifts, above giving, and even above faith and hope? Because our God IS love. Love exists because God exists. Love is God's essential character--thus, all that He does and is stems from that.

I empathize completely with the psalmist's cry--"Don't abandon me, for you made me!" Isaiah 43:7 says, "Bring all who claim me as their God, for I have made them for my glory. It was I who created them." I find myself thinking, Lord, how do you get glory from this? Don't abandon me--you made me and you did it for Your own glory! Show Yourself God, please! Kind of like Moses--for the glory of YOUR name, Lord!

In prison--Joy in the morning!

Are you in prison? You are probably not literally behind bars, but your circumstances may make you feel as if you are. Don't despair; it will not last. It is ordained by God and is designed either for your current witness or future usefulness. He is refining you and molding you into His image, the exact likeness of His crucified Son.

Adapted from The One Year® Walk with God Devotional by Chris Tiegreen, Tyndale House Publishers (2004), entry for April 22.

Circumstances. I've heard it said that Happiness is due to circumstances, joy comes from within. However, in Psalm 30:5 (which is the verse the Lord spoke to me Friday), the psalmist says, "For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning." Joy comes in the morning...wouldn't that mean that joy is also, in a way, circumstantial? I mean, joy and mourning are dependent upon whether it is night or day?

That's actually an encouraging thought to me--because I have felt, many times, that i should have joy in the midst of my circumstances, and when I am still sad, I start feeling like I am not a good enough Christian, that maybe I don't love the Lord as much as I thought I did.

But, no, that is not it at all. Weeping lasts through the night, and yet, through God's favor, joy will come in the morning. The JOY in the midst of your circumstance is found in the FAITH that morning will come, joy will truly come, that night cannot and will not last forever. Joy is found in God's favor.